yes i know that i said the next time i'm posting i would have changed my blogskin, but 1) i cant be bothered to find a new skin and 2) i reallyreally needed to post this, if only to clear my mind.
**EDIT: yes i have changed my skin now. finally got too sick of it**
it's so difficult to believe, much less comprehend death. yet death is what stares us all in the face, and is the only certainty in life. yet i simply cannot,
refuse to believe that someone i know, albeit briefly can go just like that. but it has happened. i'm still struggling with my emotions. this tempest within me cannot be articulated by mere words, but here i am trying my best, because its a therapy of sorts.
in the past, i have read about people experiencing regret for the things that they didn't do, didn't say to a loved one before they pass away. i haven't really experienced it until now. i regret that i didn't get to know him better, regret the potential good times that i wasted, regret the might-have-beens.
really, its the suddenness that truly strikes me. he looked to be perfectly healthy. then suddenly he is forcefully taken away from us, by a heart infection that no one really knew was coming. is it fair? to be cut down in the prime of your life? of course it isn't, but that doesn't make it any easier to bear.
looking back at my own life, what would i have done differently, knowing that my time on earth was drawing to a close? certainly i would stop wasting away the hours doing nothing on my computer. and that makes me think. have i been giving my all to God recently? sadly, the answer is no. 'live each day as if it was your last'. if i adhered to this motto, how much of my life would i really change?
being so affected by the presence of death, i wonder how i might cope if a close family member passed away? its scary, because it is so real. would i break down? i really don't know.
so my friend, rest in peace. i might not have known you beyond a fleeting acquaintance and a friendly 'hi' as we pass by each other in school, but that doesn't mean you won't be missed. your legacy lives on in us, and you'll never be forgotten, for all that you brought to our batch, our school, and our lives.
